WHY WHY WHY???

Why am I doing this?   I am doing this because, "WHY NOT??"  I am alive!!  I want to feel alive.  The need to get rid of the fear of reoccurance is driving me.  I want to let the fear go.  Every pain in my body doesn't mean that I have a tumor inside me.

Today as I washed dishes, I had a lot of time to think about my purpose.

Why was I spared?? 

 I will never know but it's okay if I don't.  It is about gratitude and being able to give back.  I need to show my Heavenly Father that I appreciate this extra time I was given.

 This time can be used to make another human being feel better; to get more of our their life.

 It isn't about me, it is about the greater good.

I really want this!!  There is a drive inside me to take a step,

a step to forgiving myself 

for getting cancer.  I've always had these questions inside me, "What did I do to deserve this?"  " What made my body sick?"  I need to let that go, to be okay with whatever the universe has in store for me.  I will be writing in here to chronicle my journey.  

It is going to be a WILD ride.