Arrival

well, I'm here. I've had the city tour and met some amazing people.  I'm so excited to meet the kids tomorrow.  I feel at peace.  The flight was long and sleepless. Last night I slept like a rock.  The food is pretty good except I can't seem to get used to eating beans and rice for breakfast.  I ate toast. The dinner last night was fabulous. Yummy beans and rice with mango salsa. I went back for seconds.

One Week

I have one week, one week to get all my stuff in order. I have to write lesson plans, finalize grades, clean the house up, pack, organize, AND do all the day to day normal things. If I seem a little crazy this week, it's because I am.

I am so nervous about going. I will be flying by myself to a foreign country. I know I can do it but it scares me to death. I will feel so accomplished if I make it there in one piece. Please, Lord, please don't let me get lost.  Say a prayer, or 52, for me. We will be staying one night in Cartago and then heading to the Oriso Valley for the rest of the stay. I am so excited.

I got my volunteer placement. I will be working in a very small school.  This week I will be working on having my students write simple letters for the Costa Rican children. I want to bring these to the children I work with. I'm trying to bring the two classrooms together. Please, let me know if you have any last minute packing tips.

Countdown to Costa Rica

Costa Rica

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Crowdrise-Robyn Brown

WHY WHY WHY???

Why am I doing this?   I am doing this because, "WHY NOT??"  I am alive!!  I want to feel alive.  The need to get rid of the fear of reoccurance is driving me.  I want to let the fear go.  Every pain in my body doesn't mean that I have a tumor inside me.

Today as I washed dishes, I had a lot of time to think about my purpose.

Why was I spared?? 

 I will never know but it's okay if I don't.  It is about gratitude and being able to give back.  I need to show my Heavenly Father that I appreciate this extra time I was given.

 This time can be used to make another human being feel better; to get more of our their life.

 It isn't about me, it is about the greater good.

I really want this!!  There is a drive inside me to take a step,

a step to forgiving myself 

for getting cancer.  I've always had these questions inside me, "What did I do to deserve this?"  " What made my body sick?"  I need to let that go, to be okay with whatever the universe has in store for me.  I will be writing in here to chronicle my journey.  

It is going to be a WILD ride.